Summoned (D3 ME)

[Kaliya Redding]

She bridled at his words, drawing back slightly, "do you see me as the victim? I am not a little girl sobbing into my pillow forr all the misforrtunes life has brought me. Not anymore."

[Davelyn Sand]

"I don't. I see you as a strong woman and a survivor that has made her own places in her world," he says shaking his head. "But one that punishes the idea of that fourteen year old girl, because she hates that she allowed herself to be hurt. I think you've learned to take command of your life, but that you don't allow yourself to truly enjoy it. You don't want to feel those feelings you consider idealistic because you think they made you too weak to fight back against those men. But you were far too young. No matter what you felt you had not yet gained the strength that you have now to stand up for yourself. Those feelings were not the weakness Kaliya. Your youth simply meant that you were not strong enough yet."

"You asked where we go, because I don't want to hurt you and you know it, because you want to see what it feels like again. But even now you won't take my hand. Do you think it would be the same weakness that girl from your memory showed? And so what if it is? Do you honestly believe that in my heart I could ever have a desire to use a weakness against you, even if it really did exist."

"I don't see it as weakness. It's strength, to be willing to put yourself out there, to trust. That is courage. And you have it in you."

His hand remains there on the table still... waiting for her.

[Kaliya Redding]

"I will not take yourr hand, Davelyn, because I do not need you to hold me up while I talk; if you mean what you say, you should rrecognise that."

She sighs, unable to understand why he clings so doggedly to this idea. "I do not think those feelings will make me weak. But I have neitherr the time norr any use for them. Arre rromantic drreams going to be useful to me in my second marriage? They werre no help in my firrst."

[Davelyn Sand]

He smiles at her. "I don't think you need to be held up. I just know I want to be here for you. And no... you do not need romantic dreams. I don't need them either. Nobody needs them. Nobody needs to do anything outside of eat and sleep. I also don't need to read books, or to practice with the spear, or to have left Dorne. But it is the romantic dreams that make life worth living. It is the beautiful moments in between the difficult ones that we continue pushing forward for. We see a piece of art and it stirs the soul, we hear music and it moves our feet, we are touched by a lover and it sends shivers up our spine. It is the experience of being alive? I do not want you to miss out on that port of the experience of living. I think you have fought your way through too much to give up on that part of yourself and on that part of the world."

[Kaliya Redding]

His words sting like the bite of a viper, what could he possibly know? he's a boy! she railed defensively. Tension corded through her, tightening her neck, her shoulders, her arms. And she smiles, it settles comfortably in place, a familiar mask, hollow as the rotten tree.

This man was so sweet, so earnest, why am I not simply walking away? I neitherr want, norr need, this complication, so why can i not just leave? Perrhaps he trruly wants nothing of me, but what do I want of him?

[Davelyn Sand]

He was not getting anywhere with this. And it made sense to him after thinking about it for a moment. He was being obstinate about his point, belaboring it. She knew what he wanted for her by now... pretty loud and clear. But she still had her armor up. He had already done what he could with the little armor he stripped away yesterday.

"I apologize. Sometimes I can get on a single idea and push too hard, and you have already heard me. I want to hear more from you if you'll share. Your husband. What kind of man was he? Why did he let this go on until his death?"

[Kaliya Redding]

For the first time, Kaliya looked saddened. "Lorrd Rreding was not a bad man. He thought he was doing the best thing he could for me. He had taken a severre wound shorrtly beforre we werre wed, it troubled him until the day he died. But he was kind to me, as best he knew how, and he thought that otherrs might satisfy wherre he could not."

[Davelyn Sand]

That flipped his understanding of the situation, and so he nodded. "I see. That is an unfortunate situation. And it seems he had some of your interests in mind at the very least. I am glad that I asked though. It has improved my understanding of your situation that much more," he says. "He did not so much allow it to happen as he hoped it might make the time more bearable. Was it at your prompting that he sought to have others satisfy? Or was he simply doing what he believed you would like?"

[Kaliya Redding]

Knowing the Dornishman's propensity for straightforwardness, "when you look at me, can you picturre how I was at fourrteen? A woman barrely flowerred?" she asked wryly. "I was the prretty face of the Rredding winerry galas, and when the men werre deep enough in theirr cups, Lorrd Rredding would call forr me and tell his wealthiest customerrs that an old warr hound like him could neverr hope to satisfy me, suggest that they would be doing him favourr to take theirr pleasurre of me."

"And in the morrnings when his head ached worrse than his scarr, he would come to ourr bedchamberr and hold me and tell me that he only wanted what was best forr me."

[Davelyn Sand]

He nods, looking at her solemnly. "Again, I am glad you shared. I can understand that much more why you might think poorly of my words that I want you to be happy. You have my apologies for me speaking in ignorance. But while you may have considered his intentions sweet, the actions were anything but. You were told far too long and at far too young of an age what you wanted, rather than asked. And shamefully I've made that same mistake."

He looks down at the table for a long moment before looking back to her. "Not from tonight, or next week, or next year... but from your life. What do you want? What can I do for you? You are your own woman and a strong, beautiful one at that. What do you want."

[Kaliya Redding]

"Do not mistake me, I know his actions were neitherr kind norr sweet. He was an old man and I was a child, how could he underrstand? He bought me prretty drresses and lovely jewels. He made assumptions of me, that the only answerr to the heat of my blood was to give me away."

Kaliya turned to the fire once more, craving the warmth, like the desert wind on her face. Her hand, finally, finds his, "you speak of shiverrs, but you have neverr been grroped by a man with sourr wine on his brreath and a limp cock. Music may inspirre us to dance, but not when the chorrds jarr and clash."

[Davelyn Sand]

His hand is rough from his frequent sparring and training, but the squeeze he gives is gentle.

"I cannot possibly know the depths of the pain you suffered Kaliya. We both know that. But you were never given a choice then, and you will always have that with me now and forever. I will never assume to tell you what I think you need. But in return I hope that you will share with me what you want so that I can help you find your own happiness, however you choose to define it."

[Kaliya Redding]

She was done. She finished her wine, soothing her dry throat, and got to her feet. Kaliya didn't want to discuss the matter any further, she didn't want to discuss anything. She wanted to escape. She offered him her hand, "forr the moment, all I want is to take you upstairrs and make you shiverr."

[Davelyn Sand]

"If that is what milady asks of me, I will most certainly shiver for her," he says, smiling at her as he takes her hand once more. He wasn't sure this was healthy for the two of them at this point... but he was a man of his word and she had told him what she wants.

[Kaliya Redding]

Kaliya pauses and drops his hand, her full lips thin slightly. "I want you to join me because you desirre me, not because you are compelled to serrvice." She will go without him, but some of her bluster is fading. It was far easier to let someone believe what they wanted than to bluff oneself; she didn't need to convince Davelyn that she'd done this before, all she needed to do was let him assume that. Alone was a different story.

[Davelyn Sand]

Before she can get too far away, a quick hand reached out to take hers. When he steps around her his eyes are different, the fireplace's flames reflect light in them matching an intensity they carry all on their own, while the shadows it casts play on a face that completely lacks doubt. "Desirre is not a strrong enough worrd." His accent begins slipping in again.

[Kaliya Redding]

She shivered, the roll of his Rs when he remembered his accent played up and down her spine. Upstairs she conferred quickly with the brothelmaster, and a strapping Marcher man and a woman with a hint of Essos about her, neither older than Kaliya, were brought before them. With a growing, sly smile, she looked to her Dornish companion for final approval, an eyebrow raised.

[Davelyn Sand]

Davelyn seemed pleased with her choices, apparently not having any qualms with them at all. His fingers move to her chin as he leans in to kiss her for a moment, giving his approval.

[Kaliya Redding]

With a final nod of approval, Kaliya took both the Marcher and the Essos girl by the hand. The four of them crossed to the provided room and the door closed behind the group.


/ftb